The Selfie Complex


Hello people of the world. I was just looking through an archive of things that I had written when I came across and article that I had written for an audition to work for a magazine. I never actually showed up for the interview because it clashed for a class, so I’ll never know if I would have gotten the job but I’m kinda proud of this one because of how little it sounds like me.

They wanted me to write a Buzzfeed-esque article, complete with funny gifs and needless to say I was horrified, I didn’t really know how to write like that, but much to my surprise I did manage and it sounds nothing like me. I have always been a bit afraid that I don’t have the creativity to write anything beyond myself which is reinforced by the number of things that I take from reality, in everything I write but this one was different so even though it is not exactly good writing, I’m still more pleased with it than I would be from some of my other works.

Anyway guys here you go


Picture this; your school/college/workplace is under attack by flesh eating zombies. Your friends are all screaming in terror and you turn around to see your best friend taking out his phone, not to call the emergency services, but to take a ‘we’re all gonna to get eaten by zombies’ selfie.

Okay so I might be exaggerating a bit, but honestly the way ‘selfie culture’ has taken over the world, it won’t be long now before this becomes a reality….minus the zombies.

Anyway to show you guys just how much slefies have become a part of our lives I’m going to make a list of not five, but seven ways that selfies have taken over.

  1. Narcissism                                                                                                                                                                   Who doesn’t like looking at themselves a bit? If you say that you’ve gone your whole life without looking into a car mirror to admire your awesomeness, your pants are either on fire or you have no soul. Give in to the selfie madness people.
  1. Positive Reinforcement                                                                                                                                                       I don’t know about you but for me, waking up to comment about how nice you look, in that pic you uploaded at twelve in the night, is a pretty good way to start the day. Spread the love around; tell someone else that their selfie makes them look like a million bucks and the world will seem like a much better place.
  1. Connection                                                                                                                                                                      In our high functioning, never resting lives, it’s hard to take some time out to say hi to your friends and you certainly won’t be able to meet them face to face; so why not send them a pic of you saying good morning, or good night, or sorry that your boy/girl-friend of five years just left you L….just be a little careful with the last one.
  1. Postcards                                                                                                                                                                           Remember when people used to send picture post cards….no? Well that’s because they are completely redundant now. Why would you send your family a lame generic postcard when you can take an awesome (and filtered) selfie of you enjoying the sun and the sand.
  1. It’s Practical                                                                                                                                                                 Have you ever found yourself having the time of your life with your friends and had the burning urge to capture the moment? Well too bad because everyone around decides to be a jerk and refuses to take a picture of you guys. With selfies this problem is removed completely. Just switch on your awesome front camera and click away.
  1. It’s Romantic                                                                                                                                                                       Do you really want some creepy dude taking a picture of you and your significant other, just huddle up close and create some wonderful memories…that you can burn “jab we met” style if things go south (see two for one)
  1. It’s Fun                                                                                                                                                                               I think this pretty much covers the reason why selfies are here to stay. They don’t have to be cool or popular or trendy they just have to be fun. Even if social media hadn’t made selfies into the worldwide phenomenon they are now, people would still be doing it because, its just that much fun

And that’s about it. I hope you guys will enjoy your selfies that much more now; and for those that can’t stand selfies, give them a go, you never know, you might end up liking them too.

So in the final analysis I don’t know if……sorry I got distracted taking a ‘just finished an article’ selfie.


Sorry that the gifs are missing, I really did like them.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this and I will write to you later.



2 responses to “The Selfie Complex

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