I’m not one to see the glass as half full. I do try and sometimes I succeed, but for the most part life manages to keep me down most of the time, that’s why little things sometimes give me a feeling of contentedness.
The past two days haven’t been particularly good but at the end of the last particularly long monday I just had a feeling.
The whether was beautiful, the frosty cold of the previous month had all but gone leaving behind only a cool wind, which was again mellowed by the warm dregs of sunshine. I just stopped in the middle of the side walk and looked at the sky.
It was blue and clear and suddenly I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. In that moment I kept thinking about how free I was. I didn’t have my friends or family with me and that sucked but I wasn’t lonely.
Right now I am more free than I have ever been and once I’m out of college I’ll have other difficulties that I’ll have to deal with so this is probably the most freedom that I will ever have and I just want to remember that moment when things begin to fuck up, which will be happening any day now.
I while back, I think when I moved back to India I wrote a post called “beauty and pain” or something like that in which I saw some beautiful things while I was going through a tough time.
I only recently found out that Keats had a term for that called “negative capability”.
Its the contrasts that make life beautiful so I don’t mind that I tend to be pessimistic because when I do see the bright side of things, it tends to be m** f** beautiful XD
Hope you guys are well
Marching to drums