Time is a funny thing. Sometimes I feel every second of it, pressing down with the weight of uncountable seconds ticking away; sometimes it’s all to quick and before you know it something that you had grown to love, grown to rely on is over. They say “time and tide wait for no one” but sometimes I wish I could just see it more clearly.
I wish I had the presence of mind to relish the seconds that I get with the ones I love; I wish I had the foresight to know that the pain I feel is not even a spot on the portrait of my life.
I feel very alone these days, and I don’t know when I won’t feel this way. My mother is so far away and even though I can call her, I don’t think we will ever be the same as we were before. My friends have all scattered; they are still there and yet they are not and most days it feels like a struggle to get to them.
I don’t allow myself to think much these days; my time taken by my surprisingly large work load and free time among endless stories; but when I am at rest is when it all comes back to me and once again I feel like a stranger.
Life is an so unpredictable and it gets tiring just trying to live, but for all I say that I don’t believe in religion; I have a lot of faith.
I believe that things will be better someday, I believe that things aren’t as bad as they seem to be sometimes, I believe that everything that is meant to be will be and on the days that I can’t think past the present, I try to remember that.
I am going back to visit my family for two whole weeks in November and I couldn’t be more happy about that, so all I wish for right now, is to dwell on the happiness of the meeting and not on the inevitable separation.
Time will go on, and where it will lead me is anyone’s guess but I hope it takes me to some place nice.