Hello people of the world. I am a fickle creature sometimes. When I am not inspired it can take a long time to get me back onto something. I haven’t been inspired much lately as you may have guess and thus my writing has suffered, but am am really trying. I love writing but sometimes I really go blank.
There has been a topic that I have wanted to discuss with you guys for a while but for some reason or the other. Earlier today (around 3 or 4 in the morning/night) I read a post which felt like a sign (yes the guy that doesn’t believe in god believes in Omans wooohooo). Okay so this post is going to be about hetronormativity. There is so much to say about this so I am just going to talk about hetronormative homosexual relationships in life and in books and it’s effect on my life (because god forbid I make one post without talking about myself).
Anyway, as far as I understand it hetronormativity is about forcing hetrosexual norms on homosexual couples i.e instead of there being two men (or two women) in the relationship where both considered equal there is one man one woman, not that they change genders but one of them men/women in the couple is deemed physically inferior and has to be the bottom in the relationship.
This perception has been solidified in our minds by none other than romances. Romances aren’t the only place where this has been popularised but it is one of the places that it has affected me the most. I have always been a romantic and in my head I wanted prince charming and there was nothing wrong with that in my head. There is still nothing wrong with that but after a while I started to see an underlying inequality to the relationships. In this the dominant person or the “man” in the relationship has all the power. While in books, movies and the like such relationships are considered fine, they always involve one person taking a backseat in the running of the relationship.
I like dominant men and I think that is the kind of person I would like to spend the rest of my life with but if that person was going to override everything I said because he thought that he knew better then I would end up killing or ditching the guy, whichever was faster.
I guess what I am trying to say is while there is nothing wrong with having a heteronormative relationship, you should still assess whether you are only a passive player in the relationship or not.
Another thing I want to talk about it how this mentality has crept into all our minds. I like to to think of myself as unaffected by the influences of society but there is only so much you can shake. You can’t be free of societal standards until you know that they exist and until a few months ago I had no idea that I had an instinctual dislike of couples that didn’t have distinctive roles. It wasn’t size or any physical trait that mattered, I wanted the couples to be equal but for there to be a mentally dominant one in the relationship.
I’ve been thinking this through and I really don’t think I can shake this one. It has been very thoroughly ingrained to a point where I don’t even want to change that much. Anyway I I’ll try to open my mind to a romance novel where the emotionally dominant man/woman may be a bottom and you try to do the same. Most of you probably are already okay with this but maybe there is some ingrained thought about homosexual relationships too so give it a thought. Also for women do you think that wanting a prince charming is anti feminist or misogynistic to a certain degree?
I am done now. I hope you got something from this, if you did then feel free to weigh in, want to know what my fellow human thinks
I realise that I am writing weirdly and I don’t know how to stop so we are all stuck with this guy.