Macho Man (I’ve got Issues #15)

hand shake


Hey people of the world. First I just let me just state for the record of that I am not a fan of the Village people but the title sounded catchy. Anyway today is “I’ve got issues” day and I thought I would continue to talk about the topic I had started yesterday. I was talking about how society does not allow men to show affection because they think its a sign of weakness.

We as a society think that the quintessential tough guy is the end result all men should aspire to so anything feminine or anything emotional is considered a sign of weakness. I will admit that I personally have a soft spot for tough guys but when I thought about it I couldn’t figure out why. What is it about this fictional man that has me and many other so enthralled.

There can be many reasons for this, one that immediately comes to mind is that less about what our beliefs are and more to do with a more primitive understanding of the world. In the early days men were the hunters and gatherers so the best man would be the toughest one who could provide and protect, Thousands of years later society has changed to a certain extent but this perception of men is still very prevalent. If men feel that the only way to secure a potential partner is to be a strong insensitive jerk then that is what they will become.There are probably many other reasons behind this but this is one of the main ones I can think of.

When I was thinking about this I also got to thinking about how we can avoid such prejudices. We can’t really change the mentality of people in general so for the most part we can make a conscious effort to think more objectively about your perceptions. To elaborate on this I wanted to call upon the age old example of the firm handshake. More people than you possibly realise judge you on the basis of if you have a firm handshake or not.

My mom in particular hates it when people have weak handshakes and if someone does that, her first impression of them will not be good. This in particular annoys me because I don’t want every conversation to be about asserting dominance but to most this is the truest method of finding out whether the man is strong or not. My mom gave a different reason for her handshake peeve  but I’m not quite sure about that. My handshake apparently passes her bar but if it didn’t would she think I was weak.

This post has probably raised more questions than it has answered but there are just too many variables to discuss in one sitting. I hope you guys have some ideas about this and if you do tell me in the comments. I think this is it for today. There may not be any answers questions but for those concerned, try too look past this one trait. To be honest it may say something about a person but at the same time it may mean absolutely nothing.


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6 responses to “Macho Man (I’ve got Issues #15)

  1. I think this might also have to do with the way women generally respond to men showing their weak side.
    I’m with you, I don’t really understand these prejudices- crying once in a while or giving a handshake that doesn’t crush someone’s bones doesn’t make a man less of a man, but I do have friends who get freaked out when guys cry.
    I think it’s what you said about prehistoric times, when men NEEDED to be “macho” and I think that has just stuck throughout the years.
    I read online once, though, that it was considered UNmasculine for a man NOT to shed a tear after battle in medieval times. Go figure.

  2. A man who can cry surely has a heart. A firm handshake shows me a person, man or woman, who is confident. By taking my hand they are expressing trust in me; mine is returning like for like.

  3. like your mom, i too dislike weak effeminate handshakes. you dont need to crush my bone when you shake my hand, but i would expect a firm grip, not a limp hand placed in yours that feels like you are touching greasy lump of lard and i cant help but shudder and feel queasy.

    • Wow oddly enough that is almist exactly how my mom described it. While I still think there is no need to be so affected by it I still do understand to a vertain extent.

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