Hey my beautiful people of the world I’m back and it really feels like too long. On one hand I can’t seem to find the time to finish my current work but at the same time I feel like doing something more (typical). Anyway I wanted to apologize again for mot finishing the chapter last Wednesday and then posting an incomplete chapter. For you information I have edited it a bit and added more so that it actually seems like a full chapter now so check out the new additions 🙂 .
So last time I told you guys, and I don’t know when that was, that I would do a list of things you should and should not say to someone when they come out. Now I’m sure that you guys know that it is really important to be careful what you say when a situation like this comes up but maybe you don’t know just how important it is. When you first some out to someone as a LGBT person, the first reaction you get has a great effect on your self-esteem. On the one had it could help someone become a well-adjusted person who is not ashamed of themselves on the other hand if they get a bad reaction they are far more likely to hide who they are so…….no pressure 😉
To deal with it better I have decided to make a list 4 questions you should not ask someone when they tell you they are gay.
- Are you attracted to me ?
Fortunately this one has never happened to me. It is bad enough having to come out without the added embarrassment of having to assure someone that you are not attracted to them. If they are coming out to you it is more likely they trust you as a friend or relative. I this person is attracted to you then they will tell you in due time,and if that happens and you cannot reciprocate those feelings then you will have to cross that bridge (gently) when you come to it.
- Since when ?
Okay now this one really annoys me and I have gotten it from just about everyone I have come out to. I have always been gay and you asking me how long I have been gay implies that it is a recent development. If you don’t get it then think of it this way how long ago did you become straight well that’s how long .
- Are you sure ?
No I’m not sure I just put myself through that humiliation and pain for a cheap thrills. If you didn’t understand I was being sarcastic. When someone tells you they are gay they are doing it because they know, if they were unsure they really wouldn’t be telling you.
- Can you change ?
This is probably the worst one because not only does it imply that it was a decision to be gay but that it is a bad thing to be gay. When someone comes out to you it is because they are comfortable enough with you that they are letting their guard down. It is your responsibility to make sure you make them feel loved and to make them understand that you accept them and that you still think of them in the same way you did before.
So guys I hope that was a bit helpful. Tell me in the comments or e-mail me if you have any suggestions about more questions I should talk about.
My E-mail Id is in the description