Unforgiven

Forgive1

 

Hey people that read my blog or those who have accidentally ended up here. Today I’m just going to make a shot post about myself. I know that a  lot of my posts boil down to me talking about myself but there are somethings I feel like shareing and since my mom is fed up of listening to them you guys are the closest substitute, so here goes

So recently I’ve been getting comments from my friends saying that I’m cranky and have been snapping at people constantly for the past few days. It has degenerated to the point where they are actually afraid of saying or doing certain things around me that will set me off. I am a passionate person and when we are talking about things I’m passionate about I do tend to get a bit vehement, also the recent stress from the academic front has started up my rage issues again which has me lashing out against everyone near me  (sorry guys)

From reading this you guys must think I’m hyper sensitive and to an extent I do tend to get hurt easily but very few things actually wound me deeply and one of the major causes is betrayal. Over the years there are many things my so called friends have done to me to get a few cheap laughs but I never considered them friends to begin with. I always out a hundred percent in all my relationships even in friendships so when someone I trust betrays me I cannot forgive it.

Friends have made fun of me and played pranks on me even to the extent that I’ve gotten majorly pissed off but if there is no malice behind it I will eventually forgive it, but when someone like that hurts me and I mean really hurts me there is no taking it back. To cite an incident a few years back in another school there was a teacher Mrs p (b***h). One day I got to school late and I interrupted her class accidentally. Needless to say she was pissed off, so she goes on to make some comments about me to the rest of the class. I was not very liked in my class so it didn’t take long for the whole class to start guffawing.

So there I was in the front of the class close to tears while the whole class laughed away and the thought came to me that I would really like to see my friends so I look for them and much to my surprise I find them laughing too. When I saw that I really did start crying and had to walk through the mess of jeering students to my seat which just happened to be at the very end of the class and I sat there by myself till recess feeling humiliated and betrayed.

Later they apologized to me profusely saying they didn’t know I would take it so seriously but it was already too late. I forgave them to a certain extent over a few weeks but nothing could ever be the same between us again. After that incident I’ve become almost paranoid about my friends. When someone invites me to an event I make sure that the event actually exists to  make sure it isn’t some elaborate hoax to humiliate me.

I’m not saying this is the way to do things or that everyone will hurt you, I’m just sharing an incident to make you guys understand more about me so feel free to not imitate me, I’m not a good roll model 😉

P.S

I wish I could say that this is going to be a short post and actually mean it

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