I would like to dedicate this post to Paul,Purple and all my other friends and family that I have come out to that have supported me and made me a more confident person through their support and especially Paul who I just came out to 2 days ago thanks for being so supportive and thank you for being proud of me, it’s only because you guys that I am able to function.
Hey there blog buddies!!!. The person that tells me who says that gets a special gift 🙂 YEAH!!!. So its been a day since I last wrote a post and I’m feeling weirdly guilty. It’s not as if we had like a standing appointment with each other but none the less I feel the need to make it up to you guys with an extra special post that has everything from happy feelings of acceptance to messy teenage angst.
So you guys must be wondering what I am talking about (whats new about that) well in the past week a lot has happened to me that has made me think about how as teenagers a lot of our problems seem greater than they are and that we just haven’t gotten the perspective to realize that. I myself take things way too seriously, sure being gay is tough but I have to understand that being gay can’t be the thing that defines me. It’s always going to be a struggle being gay but as of now I am actively going to make that a less important part of my life. Although I am still determined to be an activist I am going to do so because I believe in equal rights for all people and not just because I am gay. If I chose to live my life helping people then it has to be for the right reasons.
Recently something happened that made me think that maybe being lost in your own problems is just a people problem and not just an Alex problem or a teenager problem. When we have a problem it’s hard to see beyond it and see that although everything is going down the crapper right now, it won’t be that way forever. A friend of mine once said that living for someone. living just so that you could be that person’s significant other was pathetic. At the time I vehemently disagreed but its been six months now and both of us has had a huge change in perspective. I have come to believe that while living for someone else is not pathetic,it is not all there is to life. There is so much more you have to discover about yourself before you become a part of something like that, the only way to have perfect equality is to know that even without that person you are still someone who you can live with, while my friend now believes that even though living for someone is not the way he chooses to live that he can now understand where they are coming from.
What has brought about this huge change of heart you may ask, well isn’t it obvious, my friend has started dating. He has been with this girl for about three months and recently they decided to break up because of circumstances that are beyond their, but as he just told me a while back,breaking up because someone else doesn’t like it is not worth while and even though I am still skeptical about the outcome I am being hopeful for the sake of my two friends who are hopefully getting back together as I write this.
Over the short time that we have known each other our perspectives have altered radically and they probably will again but no matter what even if our minds change tomorrow we can only act to the best of our understanding.No matter what people tell us we will never be individuals until we live through our mistakes and are wiser for them. We may not have all the answers and we may be short-sighted but we do the best we can do any way we can do and as for thinking our problems are greater than they are we will learn whether it was all in our heads or real, all in good time.